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You can’t go home again! Or can you?    I recently went back to my hometown the place I was born and where I spent the first eighteen years of my life. Living in the south for the last twenty-three years, I have often wondered if I was missing something by not being back in the DC/MD/VA area.  Not just the food, culture, public transportation, but my past, my memories, a sea of firsts. I hadn’t been back in about ten years and we really excited for the chance to show my now grown children my past.

Somewhere during the trip I started to realize that it wasn’t like I remembered and time hasn’t always been kind to my beloved city.  By the end of the trip I was ready to get back to my house, my bed, my dog, my home. It was wonderful for a while to eat the foods, hear the music I missed, ride the Metro, but than it changed and it wasn’t so wonderful anymore.  That makes the place of my birth a nice place to visit, but no longer my home, still familiar and comfortable just not quite the right fit.

So I guess I understand that old adage now, as we move forward in our lives and our way of thinking the things we used to hold dear may be better left as just that a sweet memory.

When I was growing up and went to the Baptist Church with my Grandfather who was the Preacher. I would here the people get up to speak and they would always say give them their flowers while they are living.

It seems a strange saying when you are only about 11 or so. Now as I get older I understand that saying and many other ones that the grown-folks used to repeat often.

In light of that and the fact that it’s the beginning of a new year I want to just take a minute to give some flowers to a few folk while they are living.

First would be my Mother because she is always my biggest cheerleader. For my entire life it has been just the two of us and I couldn’t have asked for a better Mom. She has encouraged me, supported me and helped me in so many ways. I love you dearly Mom and just want to know that.

Second would be my Husband and Children. I know that sometimes I am hard to live with. My need for neatness and things to go my way sometimes get in the way of other things. But I am so glad and thankful that I have a family I can laugh with. We have more fun than we have fights and that means the world to me.

Third I want to say to my cast of characters that I am proud to call friend you guys are the best. I have the kind of friends that can call me any time of the day or night and I will be there for them. They also have shown me that same kind of love in these last few challenging weeks. It brings tears to my eyes when I thnk of how they have reached out to lend a hand, support, food and even a ride or two lately as my family and I have gone through a dark moment of our lives.

Lastly but for sure not the least I want to say thank you to the few but faithful readers of my little peice of the world. I would not have made it this far without each and everyone of you. When I get a comment I am so excited to know that someone is reading and the emails have given me the courage to continue.

So while I know you can’t smell these beautiful flowers or touch their sweet softness, consider them to be my way of giving you your flowers while you are living so you may know now why and how very important to me you are.

I remember in the early 90′s hearing that everyone had been affected by the HIV/AIDS virus and I thought, no not me.  A weeks later I discovered that a family member had been infected.

It is estimated that 33.4 million are living with HIV in the world including 2.1 millon children.   Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are 25.   Those numbers scare me when you consider that this is something that can be prevented.

I know in the late 80′s when this disease first became known they tried to educate us in school about it and we assumed it was just a gay disease and we didn’t need to pay attention.  After all at 17 you don’t think you can get anything.  Fastforward to 2009 and it would appear that things have not changed all that much. 

So on this day if you have never been tested because you think it can’t happen to you know that it can and go get tested.  If you want to do something but don’t know what to do you can go to Starbucks and buy (RED) to help out.  Alicia Keys is giving a free concert on You Tube tonight at 8pm.  If you want to read stories from other bloggers check out Bloggers Unite!  To simply learn more or educate yourself you can visit npr, Avert or The Body.

Whatever you do please do something.  If you are not infected or affected than help someone who is.   Help make it possible that someday we might not need to have a day set aside to bring attention to HIV/AIDS.

The party is over all the planning, waiting anticipation is done.  You saw it in your minds eye made it a reality, had a great time with your friends or co-workers and now it’s done. 

But what to do with all the food, flowers, gift bags etc that’s leftover?

I have faced that question many times in my life.  Had people beg me to take items that I didn’t want or couldn’t use because they didn’t know what to do with them. 

Special E is a company that will help you with this very delima.  In a time when giving is needed and people are looking to go green or be socially-responsible why not consider making them part of your to-do list.  I know when I have my next event I will be calling them.

I have two daughters that are young, bright, smart, and ready to tackle the world.  I guess that means I did a good job in raising them.  I’m sure they would not believe me if I told them this but I admire their willingness to always try something new. 

I remember when I they were little girls two and four always rushing head first into some new adventure.  I tried to get them to be a little cautious as I didn’t want to see them get hurt.  Sometimes they listened and sometimes they didn’t.  Through the years they would want to seek out new adventures, try uncharted waters and I ever their safety net would be there to make sure they made it back in one piece.  Somewhere along the way I think I lost my desire to try new things and take risks.  Somewhere I decided to act like a grown-up and worry about what everyone else would think.  Somehow I forgot to worry about what I would think about me and my life………..

So as this year of 2009 winds down I am taking a moment to watch and learn from my daughters.  I’m not sure what 2010 is going to hold but I know that I want to make sure I take a few risks, leap a few times without looking and just not be afraid to try something new.

My younger daughter loves to try out new looks and then take lots of pictures of herself.  Hmm…wonder where she got that from?  Here is just a few of her many, many looks.   I never know what I’ll see when I see her.

It’s fall again.  That’s what the calendar keeps telling me but somehow I don’t feel it.  Maybe that is because I live in Florida now and it’s just not the same as fall back home in the DC/MD area.  Growning up I associated fall with back to school, wearing boots and coats, raking leaves into piles then jumping in them, and sipping hot cocoa from steamy mugs.  Now falls means the busy hectic holiday season, sipping coffee from paper cups while on the go to stay awake, mowing the grass that never really dies, and wearing sandals all year long.  Not better or worse just different……

 

While I was reading one of the few blogs that I actually follow I came across this article on the Offbeat bride blog.  I remember when I was planning my wedding wanting more choices than just white or ivory.   I have always been a little different from everyone else and now once again thanks to the power of the internet, I know that I am not alone!

Colorful dresses from Wedding Dress Fantasy that will make you forget “ivory” ever existed

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I know to my regular readers it appears that I have ababdonded you and my blog but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I have been going through a dark period in my personal and professional life. I want bore you with all the details, but it started when my part-time J-O-B closed down suddenly one day.

 So I find myself at a crossroads of a sort. I have wanted to make some personal changes which may include relocating. I have also been toying with the idea of taking my business full-time. So it’s a scary but exciting time for me.

 Taking that first few steps is a hard thing sometimes. We get comfortable with the status quo. I have been having a lot of self doubt but I received a phone call today that made me re-think my preception of myself vs. other’s.  It was an old friend going through a rough time with their teenager.  Something I have been through and lived to talk about it.  She needed some encouragement and someone to listen.  But before the call was done she told me that I was a strong bold woman.  Strong and Bold not two words I would have used to describe myself as of late.  Then I read a blog post that was talking about excuses.   Theses two things in one day had to be a sign I thought to myself.  They are the light at the end of my tunnel. As I focus on what I really want to do with the rest of my life and with my passion I hope that you my few (for now) but faithful followers will be there with me following me on this journey. Encourage me, give me a kick in the butt when I need it, be honest with me I can take it.

 And because no post is really complete without a picture I am going to post a picture from a recent boudoir shoot I did that kinda sums up how I am feeling today.

Just so you don’t think we are all work and no play.  A few pictures that we took while in Atlanta last month.  We were fooling around having a good time.

Well it’s July here in Florida and it’s just hot hot hot. I was going through old pictures and found these that I took this past winter. at a The Gaylord Palms Hotel here the Orlando area does this great ICE event every year. I had the opportunity to attend and thought I would share a few of the pictures I took hoping that looking at them will help me cool off or at least think of cooler times.

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